Broken Glass

Sunday night something happened that gives some insight into Mikey's character, and at the same time reminds me of how careful we have to be with what we say to our children.

There are a number of items that we keep on top of our refrigerator. Much of what is up there is snacks... chips, granola bars, whatever. Then there's the breakfast cereal, and then I also keep up there the cup I use for getting myself a drink... I'll get myself a drink of something and then wash out my own cup and keep it up there. It keeps me from having to look for a fresh cup six or seven times a day, and it keeps Cathy from having to wash six or seven cups a day! So anyway, last night Mikey and Cathy got a hankerin' for some crackers & Cheez Whiz. With permission, Mikey got one of the chairs from the dining room table and climbed up to get the good stuff down. All of a sudden I heard a CRASH! and the sound of broken glass. "Mikey!" I shouted, "Stay right where you are! Don't move!" I learned a long time ago that when glass breaks, the most immediate danger is cutting your feet. Sure enough, Mikey was barefoot, but he was on the chair and all the glass was on the floor, so he was fine. I was barefoot too, but I put on some shoes and carried him to safety to clean things up.

He was almost in tears! I couldn't figure out why at first. "That was your favorite glass!" he said, then I realized what had happened. Instead of a plastic cup, the glass I had put up there was one that we've had for a long time... probably since before he was born... but it wasn't valuable or anything. It was one of those glasses that's really a jelly jar that you can reuse as a glass when you finish the jelly. Do they even do that any more? Anyway, I used to use the jelly jar glass pretty often, but it wasn't an ancient relic or the Holy Grail or something from my childhood or anything. It was from jelly I ate in like 1998 or something. But Mikey was crying because he thought it was my favorite glass in the world! And probably because I had shouted at him, too... he must have immediately thought I was furious. But he hadn't done anything at all wrong... he was just getting the crackers for his Mama. I couldn't believe how hard he was taking it!

So I of course stayed with him for a few minutes to get him calmed down and reassure him that I wasn't angry at all, and that it wasn't my "favorite glass" and that I wouldn't miss it at all. And then I swept up the "other" broken glass and got it out of the way so the family would be safe. I was lucky this time; Mikey showed his grief outwardly so I had a chance to deal with it directly. As a former (?) kid myself, though, I know that sometimes kids get ideas like that in their heads, and they just kind of stay there for sometimes years and years before the child ever shares it with someone who can show them that it's not true. sometimes those things stay there so long that they last until adulthood, and by that time they are so ingrained that there's no dislodging them, even with the logic and common sense of an adult mind. I guess part of my strategy as a parent is to try to minimize those things for my kids, so when they grow up there won't be a bunch of broken jelly glasses in their subconscious keeping them from becoming all they have the potential to be (or becoming the Achilles' Heel that brings them down and destroys what they've worked for).

Mikey... I know you read this blog sometimes. Mama and I love you, and it's the truth that the glass was no big deal. But even if it WAS a big deal, if it cost a lot of money or something, we would still love you, and you wouldn't be in trouble for an accident that happened while you were doing what you were supposed to be doing. OK? You just keep doing what's right, and things will turn out OK!